The other day a trending topic as I was browsing through twitter, one of the trending topics was #ThingsMyExTaughtMe. I was quick to put up my experience, well as much of my experience as I could fit in 140 characters. Whenever i am engaged in a conversation that involves the talk of ex’s I never let it go unsaid about how much I learned from that boy. But come to think about it in more detail, what did I really learn? And have I used my “knowledge” to better the relationships I have had ever since?
1) Be Brave – I am a pure traditionalist and I believe this “21st Century Girl” nonsense has been taken a bit too far. For a woman once you have feelings for a guy you must let these feelings be known. You could argue it out that any guy who is a prisoner to his dick and has half a brain is more likely then not to take advantage of the situation and get as much as he can out of you physically, or even that he may toy with you the way boys of today’s generation find so enjoyable. But at the end of the day its probably going to happen any way. And this way if you allow yourself to be vulnerable it could go either way. For all we know the guy in question could have genuine feelings for you but he thinks your in for a good time or your revelation could tip things in your favor. Plus what is the worst thing that can happen at the end of the day? So what if he hurts you?? You were who you are at the end of the day before he came along. It may take a while to get back to that person after he does his damage but it is not impossible. No human being is that powerful. Knowing you made your feelings clear will be self-gratifying at some point during the recovery process. Knowing that you did all you could will count for something.
2) Love Yourself Before You Attempt To Make Anyone Love You – As cliche at this sounds I would give a leg and an arm to go back in time and have this advice given to me before I went through everything I went through with my Ex. How can you expect someone to completely love you (which I am assuming is the general reason we enter into relationships…) when you don’t know who you is? I’m not saying that you have to have all your goals and all your morals written down in some notebook that you go home and revise every night. But just be prepared to put yourself first. You can love your respective partner but they wont respect you if you don’t respect yourself. You may want to make them happy by simply giving them what they want or what you think they want but that could lead to some dire consequences and some long term effects to the relationship. Women are constantly complaining about how they like this guy yet he’s paying more attention to some other chick, “What does she have that I don’t?” ” What is he getting from her that he can’t get from me?” I know I have asked myself these questions so many times I’ve lost count. Stop focusing on her and focus on who you are. After all its highly likely that the dickhead in question has gone there because her legs are wider then the internet.
3) Grow The Fuck Up – When feelings are involved, it’s not a game anymore and you need to stop pretending like it is one. So many couples don’t last because people forget that shit just got real. Don’t try and get back at you respective partner simply because they upset or hurt you in some way. Like just fucking communicate. It’s probable that the person didn’t even realize what that they had done something wrong. You going and doing something worse is not going to make the situation better in anyway. You want the person to hurt the way you are hurting but two people in a relationship who are hurting does not make a happy couple. If this person continues to do this wrong thing no matter how small knowing that it hurts you or upsets you then they need to grow the fuck up and you need to change your facebook status to single.
Hopefully the little “knowledge I’ve put on here has helped someone somewhere. I know it’s made me feel good seeing it in words and not just hearing it in my head.