Being Guarded – The New Black?

In my last post I mentioned that to be in a successful relationship you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Although I have often reiterated that vulnerability is beautiful, this is a lot easier said then done. Being vulnerable is basically cutting out your heart, giving it to someone else and hoping for the best. You can get shit like most people do. Or you can get a diamond in the rough who “makes you believe in love again.”

If you’ve been through the first scenario where you love someone and the take your feelings put them in an oven, bake them to get them all nice and crisp, and then stomp on top of them to break them into tiny little pieces and then just for fun throw what’s left in the dustbin. Obviously after going through this horrendous ordeal it makes it difficult to even attempt to do it all over again. Anyone who knows what I’m talking about knows at this point you are angry with the world and you just want to take it out on everybody. So you start whoring yourself out and hoping that this is somehow going to make everything better. But obviously it doesn’t. It only makes you feel worse about yourself. And then you get even more bitter and angry with the world. Tough times.

After realizing your horrible strategy is not working you stop all this foolishness and start behaving in a way that your mother would be proud of. Only to meet some idiot (Read Macharia Maruvu) who just arrives in your life all perfect and polite, with all this genuine caring for you and shit. To make matters worse this idiot is hell bent on making you fall in love with him which could potentially start the process all over again. The most rational thing to do is to protect yourself from this different kind of evil. I mean how are you supposed to know that this idiot is different from the previous one and in some cases the one before that? At this point even admitting to yourself that you have feelings for this twat is beyond impossible!! Like just, how can this even be happening? Especially in these sad times when having three different girls or even guys in one weekend is considered admirable. Getting over this fear can take a lot more time then you think. Even once you’re in the relationship it takes a whole lot of courage to get over the fear of risking getting your heart broken all over again. Not necessarily for everyone goes through this, but I did. Luckily my stupid idiot hung around long enough for me to try again and I am the happiest I have ever been.

So for those who are walking around in all black i beseech you to forget the fashion craze going around, put on that bright pink dress (or shirt for men) and hope for the best!! As cliche as it sounds you have to just try!! After all you have been through it before so why not give it another try? Plus this time you know you have first experience so you’ll see the bad signs and you’ll know when to move in the opposite direction. How are you supposed to find a Macharia Maruvu when you don’t try?