Kenya is in Danger!! – Part 2

Dear Mr. Raila,

I will start my letter by openly saying that I am not even going to address your “running mate” Kalonzo. This is a marriage of convenience and acknowledging it, which I refuse to do because it’s just plain silly. You may argue that this is the only way you would have a chance against the fugitives named in my former letter but look at Martha Karua!! She’s going at it alone and even though she may not necessarily have my vote yet, she has my respect which is a lot more than any other candidate at this point.

It is no secret how inconsistent you are. Time and time again you have said one thing in the spotlight of the media yet the very next day while the news is still being replayed you come out with a statement that completely contradicts what you said barely a few hours ago! You need to have motives, objectives and goals as a leader. You can’t be jumping from ship to ship all the time that will leave the country completely unstable. We can see from your history in the past five years that you are always the one to come out shooting and accusing people when something such as a bomb blast happens, but as the highest authority you need to be calm and collected. Let there be investigations and let those investigations be conclusive before you can start pointing fingers. Basically, just think before you speak or at least employ someone to do it for you. You need to stop this behaviour of shooting first and then aiming later; it is not good for the country.

For people who have not studied your political history and your general character it would be difficult to tell how hard you are shaking in your boots at this Uhuru –Ruto coalition. You don’t have the same zeal and charisma that you had 5 years ago. That is understandable but you cannot be so desperate to start campaigning alongside known thugs. Seriously? Mungiki leaders? Just get serious. Have you forgotten all those people who lost their lives as a result of these people? Do you think those people are going to vote for you? Or are you planning to get your new best friends to go and beat your vote into them? We need a leader that will remain confident and sure about what they are doing to take over this country. Clearly, you are just not there yet. So just spare us the trouble and make room for candidates who are ready to lead the country.

As the saying goes, you are your friends. But baba, who are your friends? I was truly shocked when I saw the news that Mudavadi had left you. I thought you guys were BOYS!! But clearly this was just another marriage of convenience. Even Miguna, though with his faults stood by you for a very long time but where is he now? The list goes on from Balala to Ngilu, they have all deserted you. So if we have no clue who your friends are how can we know who you are? They have made it clear that their main reason for leaving was your iron fist tolerance on the party, it got so bad that they just had to leave. We had Moi brutally run this country for more than 20 years are you going to do the same thing to us? With your dictatorship qualities? Agreed Kenya needs a firm leader not a dictator who is never really sure what to do with themselves. Kenya needs democracy, this means allowing opposition and sometimes even competition. What will happen to people like me who oppose your rule? Are you going to open your own Nyayo house and shove me in there for opposing you? Or am I going to have to flee to country in exile? Tell me, I want to know.

We know you are the Prime Minister of Kenya but this does not mean you have to constantly announce it and show it off in our faces. Are you aware that the current British Prime Minister travelled to his own inauguration in a bicycle? And no, it was not gold plated. Every single month I pay taxes so grudge idly because I can’t help thinking this is going to pay for the Prime Minister’s new other other Benz, while people are starving in his very own constituency of Langata. Have some humanity, even a bit and feel for these people before you go importing a truckload of hummers. I witnessed this myself at my late uncle’s funeral. Right in the middle of his granddaughter making a heart warming speech about her uncle you walk in late, approach the casket and start saying your prayers. As much as you want to show that you are in touch with God you have to realize that there are other people grieving and you are interrupting that process. Further still you insisted that the wife of the deceased move from the chair she was sitting so that everyone could see you, front and centre, which of course meant that your entourage had to surround you and everyone else had to move, including a not too excited me. This extravagance is not good for the nation.

If you really have the best interests of the country then I beg you, look inside yourself and just accept that you are not a progressive thinker, and do not contest the presidency in the upcoming elections.

Kenya is in Danger!! – Part 1

Dear Mr. Ruto/Mr. Kenyatta,

Firstly can you believe that the word “Kenyatta” is actually recognized on my spell check? Yet mine is not? I actually had to add my own name into the dictionary. What nonsense is this? My computer must be programmed this way just to piss me off, and I can’t lie its worked.

But on to more serious matters, what are you two idiots thinking running for President and Vice President when you have been indicted by the International Criminal Court? I cannot see the logic behind this decision at all!! Like just, really? Granted you may be innocent but do you realize what this could mean for the country as a whole if you got elected? Firstly and most importantly, the beautiful Kenyan country would be labeled a failed state simply for the fact that we have common fugitives “leading” (read embezzling from) our country. The consequences of this would affect everyone from the common lady who sells mangoes on the street to the children of your friends who have been sent abroad to gain an education, consume foreign alcohol, and impregnate foreigners. This is mainly because travel restrictions would be placed on our citizens as well as economic sanctions. So that woman who sells mangoes down the road will have to lower her prices because there is no more exportation meaning the demand for her mangoes will go down, how is she supposed to pay for kerosene to cook ugali with if she is forced to sell her mangoes at throw away prices?

Secondly, if you two buffoons are elected who is going to run the country as you are being tried at the court? You are running together and in accordance with the constitution in the situation that the President is absent the Vice President takes over, you both will be gone or do you not realize that? Or do you just not plan to show up? Again this goes back to economic sanctions, extremely limited foreign aid and very strict travel embargoes on the country as a whole. What will those who cannot afford the lavish lifestyles that you two live cope with the definite results of a raised inflation? Just go ask that other dimwit Omar Bashir that he is dealing with or rather pretending to deal with.

What happens if the United Nations pulls out of Kenya??? Do you know how many employment opportunities that the United Nations provides for Kenyans?? Do you realize how many industrial sectors would be affected if they pulled out? Tourism would suffer as a result of the decreased number of conferences in the country, employment would go down, Nairobi’s housing and retail markets that cater for UN staff would virtually collapse over night! Do you have a plan to reimburse all these people who would suffer because the two of you cannot see the greater good in simply not contesting until you are proven innocent?

Lastly it is a lose-lose situation. In a nutshell if you win and attend your trial you will never be around to actually run the country which again would lead to anarchy, and if you don’t attend your trial the country will be isolated internationally – what will Sudan give you?? Even Uganda will tell you live “those are your own!!”

If you really have the interests of the country at heart just focus on your cases and let the country be lead by qualified human beings.