From One Bitch To Another.

Over the years women who have climbed to the top of their fields and subsequently been in the spotlight because of it have had to work twice as hard and sacrifice twice as much as men. And worse still they have had to face a lot more criticism while doing it. 

If they are not called “a power-hungry bitch” then they are being called “a pussy who lets her emotions get in the way of business.” It really is Bullshit. Simply because women have to chose which insult they like the most. And still probably the worst thing about this whole thing is that majority of the time the women are the ones who are spitting out this venom. But that’s a story for another day. 

One woman who has stood out for me is Madam Secretary Madeleine Albright. So so so so so many things have been said about her over the years, and for a long time I agreed with them. But until literally this morning it never occurred to me that she was a woman just like me who had feelings, more so just like me because she was ambitious and unlike most men these days she had balls. She said and things which many people wouldn’t dare allow to creep up as a thought! She was the first female Secretary of State paving the way for other “bitches” such as Hillary Clinton and Condeleeza Rice. That cannot be taken away from her. Not to be added to the list of women who doesn’t support other women but lets just say she didn’t get where she was in life by opening her legs.

It really bothers me to see Women today relying fully on their sexuality to take them places and then complaining that men are the ones who take advantage of us. We make it way to easy for them.

But this post is not about what is wrong with the female species, it is about the boss-ness of Madam Secretary. I can openly state that I do not agree with most of the decisions she made but that does not mean that I can’t admire her for making them, or more so achieving all that she achieved.  The point I’m trying to make here is that Madeleine Albright should not be admired for the work that she did or the decisions that she made but solely because she is a woman who made it to the top. 

Thank you Madam Secretary for being so Awesome!! 

Musings of A Single Girl In A Relationship: Healing From Heartbreak

People know I’m in a serious relationship and after my last post (http://wp.me/p2dJgI-42), many asked why? Why the tittle? The boyfriend didn’t though. 

Should I be worried??

Anyway…

The reason behind this title is because of the fact that for so long due to long list of reasons I was always looking for that something better. When this relationship became serious, I held on to some of my characteristics that defined me as a singleton. That is mainly that I am still my own independent person and that under ZERO circumstances should I let my relationship define me or any other aspect of my life. This is a major mistake that people make when entering into a serious relationship; I am totally guilty of this in my past….whatever that was. I personally now believe there should be a fine line between loving someone or making them a priority and loving said person more than yourself or making them your whole life.

But I digress….

After going through all the pain of giving yourself to another human being so completely especially for the first time and having all of that returned to sender with a big fat label “worthless” on top of it, how do you get from there to where I am now?

After I finally accepted that it was over I put myself out there! I was ready to give any guy who has interested five minutes of my time hoping, secretly praying that this one or the next one would somehow heel me and make all the pain from that worthless label disappear. I was that girl who was at every party, every social event always with a drink in my hand; hoping to seem approachable enough to attract someone who might be the cure to all my hurt.

MAJOR FAIL!!!

Because of this new “attitude” that I had adopted I ended up doing one or two things that I regretted; I end up letting in some more assholes that were not interested in healing anything and were simply looking for a quick lay; I ended up leading genuinely interested good guys on (the worst thing a woman can ever do!). The problem was that I was trying to replace this person who had hurt me with someone else. The truth is once you truly love someone that person is irreplaceable. They take a piece of you with them when they leave. Imagine yourself as a big cake. Imagine this person cuts a piece and takes off. You can’t go find another bakery to reinstate that piece. It’s gone.

This is why people are always comparing their current relationships to their former ones. Fact is they will never be the same. When you’ve experienced so many things with one person, shared so many memories you cannot expect someone new to even attempt to compete with that the minute you start dating.

But there is a positive side! 🙂 

You now consciously know that when you are with one person and you are still thinking about someone else or comparing the two, you are not quite there yet. Once I realized that I will never be able to replace this person I stopped trying. I started using my head when it came to deciding who I should or should not go on a date with. I started differentiating those who had a genuine interest in me and those who had a genuine interest in the sacred temple that is between my legs. And from there I was easily able to tell who was the right person to make myself vulnerable to and when.

That is how I am, where I am in my relationship.

Clap for me! I didn’t use Scandal to make a point!!